#Diary Of A Deaf Girl: How I Lost Most Of My Hearing

Hello Diary

The name is Stella. I am from that generation. You know the generation I'm talking about? The one born in a morally insincere environment..... The generation abadoned by dads and raised by single moms.

I grew up pretty much misunderstood.

The misunderstanding though started with 'White Quinine'

A drug which instead of curing an ailment, wrecked havock, silently.

I lost almost 60% of my hearing ability. My parents didn't noticed. They separated shortly after and I was left with mum. I can recall how I got punished for offences I didn't commit, how I was thought to have been stubborn when I was asked to do something and I failed to, because I didnt hear........

Primary school wasn't that bad. But by the time I was in primary 6, I had begun to understand what was wrong. The kids around me too....started making snide remarks. Others would scream at me on purpose, make it very obvious for other people to know that I am partially deaf.

By the time I got to Jss3, my hearing issues had gotten worse. My school principal noticed, visited my home and confronted mum about it.

It was then my mum realized that I wasn't pretentious like she had thought. I was actually not hearing well and that was when she recalled. She took me hospital after hospital, they said it was dirt in my inner ears, prescribed drugs, nothing changed - White quinine had done enough damages.

PS: you can look it up on Google

I wasn't the only child who reacted to White quinine but I was the only one who didn't have any physical indications.

Other kids had puss oozing out of their ears, I didn't.

In 2011, my classmates mocked me about my voice. They said it was hoarse. I stopped talking to people and when I did, I spoke in whispers. Unknown to me, I was messing with my speech organs.

Now, people barely understand me. Well, they say I have a non-Nigerian accent.

In 2012, I wrote Jamb and failed. The kids in my neighborhood mocked me. Told me I'd have to attend a deaf and dumb school, that Universities aren't for deaf people. Ofcourse I'm not deaf but that hurt and I was determined to prove them wrong. I did.

I sat for Jamb the following year and passed. I exceeded the cutoff points. I gained admission to study biochemistry in Cross River University of Technology, Calabar, same year. Hallelujah.

But life in University was way worse. I started school as an extremely self-conscious lady who doubled up as a shy lady. As a result, i didn't blend well with my colleagues and peers. Making friends wasn't easy.

Also, I didn't want people to notice that I had hearing issues. To me, it was shameful and embarrassing.

(You are reading this from me now because I have overcome the feeling. I'm a super confident woman now).

My cover was blown when I became friends with a colleague. She became my ears and my informant. I clung to her for information, handouts etc......

Well, She told her friends and her friends told others......

Soon though, I became a big burden. Her attitude changed. I withdrew.

Well, during the semester exams, I didn't struggle to sit with anyone. I sat alone. I did okay. My GPA was 2.5.

Not bad for a starter.

I learnt by reading. That wasn't difficult. I am a bookworm.

Do I talk about the number of times I had to endure lectures......endure because I couldn't hear everything said and I kept worrying that the lecturer would ask me a question and I would probably not hear? Or the times I'd sit in class, looking dumb and feeling horrible while my colleagues jotted down notes? Or the times I tried copying notes from my colleagues during lectures and some of them didn't let me?

Or the times I skipped classes, stayed at home because I didn't want to be seen? Or the days I'd sit in class and suddenly start feeling miserable and run out of class, get home, lock myself indoor and cry? Or the nights I'd stay up praying and crying for renewed strength to face the coming challenges?

Only at least 3 people did better than me in school. I had people struggling to sit with me during exams. I didn't have my ears, I had my eyes and my God-given brain and retentive memory.....and..... I had supportive friends. May God bless them abundantly. Amen

I was determined to silent everyone who mocked and made snide remarks about me.......and I did.

I am special. Yes I am.

I am a writer. I wrote and published a book right after secondary school.

I am hoping to perfect my writing skills.

I am special. You are too.......